Coming from a family where my father was something that I called “a quiet racist” where unless you were intimate with him, you would never know that he was that man. What was strange about him was the fact that he had tolerance for some blacks around him, in his circle. By the time I was in my teen, I heard my little sister making a racist comment and my mom smiled, not because she was a racist, but she did not have an identity of her own, so she adopted my father’s views. For some reasons, that day when I heard my sister’s comments and the way my mom handled it, I was hurt, I did not feel it was right. But, I did not come from a family where my opinions mattered, so I kept my feelings for myself.
So, for a few years, I had a friend of mine who was one of the most racist man you will ever met, yet unless you knew him intimately, you would not know he was racist because he married a black woman. At first, I realized that he reminded me of my father so much in his views of different races. It did not take me long to see, as unreal as it was, I was dealing with a racist man. Although he had blacks’ friends I could see in his passive aggressive attitude and demeanor, as well as his vocabulary, his needs to dominate them to feel superior about himself, everything about him was wrong in dealing with them. In my interactions with his wife, I realized she was totally oblivious that she married a racist. So, I kept my mouth shut with my observations.
I have a diverse family because my nieces and nephews along with my sons, they all married outside of their race and culture. It is truly beautiful, on the rare occasions we seat together, one can see white, black, Indian Hispanic and African men and women sharing a meal and laughing together. Personally, I have never looked at my daughter in laws and see their race, but simply human beings with their flaws, preferences, hopes and dreams just like me. Perhaps, this is why I knew something was wrong with my friend. Anyway, one day, I decided I had enough and confronted him. When I asked him if he was aware of his bias toward blacks, he was so shocked that his pasty white face turned red. He exclaimed “hello! have you met my wife? she is so dark that I don’t even think that our children would turn out beige”.
What he said was so strange, I had to laugh, and I replied “BEIGE?” Then, he continues, “HOW CAN YOU ACCUSED ME OF BEING A RACIST WHEN MY WIFE IS BLACK?” Needless to say, he went home very upset that day.
Once he got over the fact that I confronted him about his bigotry, he got closer to me. I found out about a part of his life that he kept hidden from everyone. It turns out when he was in school, he never fit in, he was bullied by others white kids and made to feel he was nothing. worse than that, his father did not want him, so he was not in his life. His mother did not care much about him, she had her own problems to deal with so as a boy, he ended up being raised by an uncle. Although he did not come out and said this to me, but I realized, marrying outside of his race was a way to take control of his insecurities and the need to be accepted. Much later, he confirmed my observations about his black friends. He truly feels by being friends with them, they should somewhat revere him and be grateful they were friends with a white man like him. In his mind, he truly believes that whites are superior to blacks.
Him confiding in me was not a good thing because I could not stand his ugly and smug heart, even though I knew behind it all there was pain being masked as superiority. Couple with the fact that he was an atheist and I had such a hard time with him mocking me for being a Christian an insulting my faith, I decided that our friendship had ran its course.
My point here is that I can see that Donald Trump is a racist and all those who come to his rescue telling us that he is not, they are dead wrong. Like my dad, every black or Hispanic person around him has his/her purpose, even if it is to make him feel superior. The depth of Donald Trump insecurity and the fact that part of him has never outgrown the petulant child in him, his need for love, friendship from others and the need to feel accepted, tell me something in his life since he was a child, has never been dealt with.
Not every racist person joins the KKK or utters racist words constantly. Each one of them deals with it differently. A white man or woman do not have to spit on a black or Hispanic person, or put shackles on him/her to be a racist.
Donald Trump is racist there is no question about it and saying otherwise is nonsensical. But his lack of class and wit along with his harden and racist heart have everything to do with his sad upbringing. Something has not be dealt with when he was a child which caused him to end up being such a vile being. AND NO, A MILLION TIMES NO, HE IS NOT A CHRISTIAN EITHER. Only God can fill this dark whole that replaces his heart. Only God can take away this vortex that is eating him along with everyone around him, alive. Only God can heal his heart.
Money never makes anyone happy but it sure gives you your choice of misery.